Robert: I Am the One Who...

I am the Boy with the Blue Eyes.
I am the One who has haunted you for twenty years.
I am the One who inspired you to write long fiction and attempt a novel.
I am the One who like Prometheus brought fire to the human race and paid for it.
I am the One who made you read all of Proust.
I am the One who opened again your multifaceted intellect.
I am the One who was raised to do great things in my society.
I am the One who nearly committed suicide at twenty-one, from the sheer pain of becoming.
I am the One who learned to see individual genius in a group and became a great administrator.
I am the One you fell in love with, despite my deadly legacy, which I could not control.

What do you have to give me?

I give you confidence in your intellect, that you are smart enough to write about physics.
I give you the joy of mastering things, disciplines, art forms for their own sake.
I give you the joy of eternal learning and knowledge.
I give you knowledge of your contribution as an individual.

What do you want from me?

I want you to tell the multifacetness of my story.
I want you to remind others that what we think of as evil sometimes has a genesis in great humanity and care for humanity.
I want you to remind others of the greatness of the Manhattan Project story, and how we can use our intellect and technology to enhance mankind, to overcome greed, anger, war and deadness.
I want you to remind others of the importance more than ever of an open society of ideas for the betterment of all life.
I want you to finish my story.

Is there anything else you want to tell me?

Remember that the Atomic Age was ushered in on sacred ground.
Remember to ground yourself in horses and the mountains and the sea…
Remember to pick flowers to make it an occasion.
Remember to love your younger siblings and meet people where they are.
Remember to guard against the seduction of power and intellectual arrogance.
Remember humility, which politicians easily forget. It is not a weakness.
Remember there are scientists and people out there who look for the truth, who love life and are trying to preserve it.
Remember death, the dark silent companion, has always been present; live life while you can.

How will I remember?

When you see the mountains and sacred places, when you smell pinon and hear the sea.
When you see “thunderstorms and sunsets comparison the sky.”
When you hear the distinctive cadence of my voice in your head.
When you read Baudelaire and the Bhagavad Gita.
Don’t worry. You will know.